


so i don't blame you if you want to bury me in your memory

by fiveyaaas



Series: one good movie kiss [3]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Blood and Injury, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Romance, Eventual Smut, F/F, Heavy Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, Suicidal Thoughts, but vanya/allison will be endgame, there will be fiveya and alluther on the side
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-12 09:01:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,398
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29257878
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fiveyaaas/pseuds/fiveyaaas
Summary: She wasn’t sure what was happening, whether this was Allison’s way of saying she forgave her or if she was just trying to kiss somebody before she bled out. Her mind wasn’t able to rationalize anything right now, and she had not the faintest idea of what was happening. Allison’s skin was glowing, and Vanya realized it was that her eyes were illuminating her skin, casting light down on it as she stared down at her.
Relationships: Allison Hargreeves/Vanya Hargreeves
Series: one good movie kiss [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2139357
Comments: 1
Kudos: 11





	so i don't blame you if you want to bury me in your memory

**Author's Note:**

  * For [JjdoggieS](https://archiveofourown.org/users/JjdoggieS/gifts).



> I apologize for taking a second to post these!! It will be fully up to date on the challenge by tomorrow!!!

Her arms were feeble as she held her within her grasp, both of them trembling. Tears were welling and spilling over freely, and the second Leonard tried to take her away, she heard him drop to the floor, body going limp. 

“Allison,” she whimpered, sobbing, realizing that she had no right to be upset. That she had done this to her, even though she loved her. Of course she loved her. Even if they weren’t really family, and they weren’t close at all, she couldn’t help but love all of them. And she’d been  _ trying.  _ She’d been making an effort to be her friend, and Vanya had taken that away. 

“I don’t know what to do.” Her lips were wobbling, and she was certain that if Allison died because of her that she would take herself out next. 

It was odd, but she could have sworn she saw Allison’s eyes grow concerned as the thought flitted through her mind. Or maybe she was thinking of all that she was about to lose, that she’d never really lived in any capacity because she’d never earned any of the joy she’d had. Because the next second, she was tugging Vanya down by her hair, pressing her lips to hers, her blood soaking Vanya’s lips. 

She wasn’t sure what was happening, whether this was Allison’s way of saying she forgave her or if she was just trying to kiss somebody before she bled out. Her mind wasn’t able to rationalize anything right now, and she had not the faintest idea of what was happening. Allison’s skin was glowing, and Vanya realized it was that her  _ eyes  _ were illuminating her skin, casting light down on it as she stared down at her. 

They started kissing again, more urgently, and then she heard the door open, realizing that their not-really-brothers had walked in on… whatever this had been. 

* * *

Five had blinked Allison to the infirmary, not even looking at Vanya before he did, though she’d noticed the carefully blank expression on his face, one he’d kept up frequently during any interviews with the press. She’d always known that behind that mask, he’d be glaring. Luther stared sullenly ahead the entire car-ride back home, and she was pretty certain both of them were more upset that Allison had been hurt than anything. None of them mentioned her glowing eyes, and Five had only briefly smirked when he’d caught sight of Leonard’s corpse. She was pretty sure all of them noticed, but apparently, for once in their lives, they had enough tact not to say anything about it. At least until Allison was well, she supposed. 

Or not. 

“You have blood on your chin,” Diego grunted, and she couldn’t really tell what his tone was, just that he was probably meaning to upset her with the comment. She wiped it off with the back of her arm, her flannels soaking it up easily enough. 

“It’s on more than just her chin.” Klaus’s voice made her think he was just reciting something a ghost near them had said, like he was relaying information. She was  _ certain _ she heard everybody’s heart stop beating for just a second when he casually mentioned, eyes drooping closed, “Ben says it gets better with time, but I think he’s just trying to make you feel better.”

When they finally reached the mansion, ambling straight to the medical wing, they were panting. Five glanced up from where he was still clutching her neck. Grace was beside him, humming softly to herself like this was just any other day. 

“What happened?” he asked Vanya, and she couldn’t tell what he was thinking, though she was pretty certain he was pissed. 

“Can I wait a second to tell you until you’re not—” She waved her hand, gesturing vaguely at Allison. Of course, just then Grace told him he could move, and then he was dragging her out of there, nails digging into her arms and seemingly  _ absurdly  _ strong for a thirteen year old. 

Though she supposed he wasn’t actually thirteen, that he was a senior who’d survived an apocalypse. 

“Tell me what happened,” he snapped, apparently figuring out that getting them out of earshot of the others was the best move.

She glanced down. “I did it.”

He sucked in a harsh breath. “You did  _ what?” _

“I killed Leonard, and I probably—”

Shushing her, looking like he was ready to pass out based on how white his face had gone, he asked, “Did you know about your powers  _ at all  _ before this week?”

Confused, she shook her head. 

His lips pursed. “I’m not going to let them hurt you, but—”

“They should hurt me,” she whispered. “If I’m capable of  _ this.” _

“You saying that only confirms to me that it’s unnecessary. If I weren’t so worried you’d go jump out the third floor window, I’d probably leave, but, as it is, I’ll wait until Allison is out of surgery to figure out this fucking…”

“It’s really happening, isn’t it?”

Understanding flashed over his eyes, and she realized that he’d finally figured out that it had been disbelief that the world could be ending, not disbelief in him, that had made her question it all. 

He waited with her, just outside of the infirmary, watching her while she tried to steady her breath. The blood had dried on her skin, feeling like the short period of time when she’d been allowed to do a few crafts in her independent studies (Grace’s doing, no doubt), how she’d drag a glue stick against her fingers and wait for it to dry up. Except that the glue stick didn’t smell like copper, and it didn’t feel pleasant at all. It felt like at any second she’d be vomiting until the smell of Allison’s blood was replaced with that instead. 

“Have you not killed anybody before?” Five asked, arching a brow like that confused him. 

Just as she opened her mouth to speak, they were interrupted by Pogo.

* * *

When Allison woke up, Vanya didn’t know if she could possibly face her, but then… she didn’t think that it would be right to not see her. Five was standing protectively by her side, had not left it since…

She didn’t want to think about what Pogo had said. There was a terrifying fear that Luther or one of the others would find out and force her back in… Whatever that place had been, that he’d showed them just long enough for Five to blink her away, realizing that she was about to have a panic attack. 

“Allison,” she mumbled. Luther and Five were watching them. She imagined that Diego and Klaus were probably downstairs. It all felt like too much. Allison clasped her hands, and tears immediately started to fill her vision again. 

Reaching for a notepad beside her, she nodded to let Vanya speak. 

“I’m so sorry.” It was all she could possibly think to say. “I’m so… I’m so—” Her body started to tremble as sharp sobbing noises erupted from her, and she felt like she might collapse if it wasn’t for the grip that Allison had on her hand. 

She wrote something down with her free hand, and Vanya could barely see it with how blurred her vision had gotten, at least at first. It was a pretty easy message to decode. 

**Did you mean to hurt me?**

Luther’s gaze felt like it was burning her, and she said,  _ needing _ to be honest, “I would’ve done anything to keep you from rumoring me.”

Five groaned, reaching for a scalpel and edging in front of Vanya’s body, sounding reluctant but apparently willing to protect her if it was necessary. She didn’t bother trying to interpret what that meant. 

**Are you going to hurt me again?**

“Oh, God, Allison,  _ no.” _ Allison eyes assessed her, trying to figure out if she truly meant it. It felt like however she responded would determine if Vanya would live through the night, and she couldn’t help but think to herself that she  _ should  _ die for what she’d done. She was a monster, and she’d hurt somebody who had just started to try to be her friend. Vanya had had maybe three friends in the entirety of her life, and she didn’t know if she would ever be able to look her in the eyes after this conversation. 

**Good. Don’t leave.**

So she didn’t. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading!!!💕


End file.
